What comes to mind when you hear the word empowerment? Is it feeling strong or a sense of taking up space, or having the resources to get a job done? Is it having permission to do something, say something, be something? Many of us may not even have an idea of what it means to be empowered in our lives. For me empowerment is stepping out as my whole and true self, using all the tools, resources, and wisdom available to me as I live my life. It comes as I allow myself to stop apologizing for who I am and begin to embrace all that makes me who I am. I am the first to admit that this is a growth area for me, is it the same for you?
I wonder about the dynamics that keep us from feeling and believing we are empowered, and what it takes to get to the other side of it. Often, we become comfortable with the societal norms and family dynamics that keep us disempowered and limited. We tell ourselves that it’s too hard to change them and we are a victim of the powers that be, and then we get angry. When we’re angry we want to punish those in power who benefit from the systems and we attack, get wounded, and need to be rescued. The cycle continues keeping us bound in place by the systems and individuals with the power. This cycle is often referred to as the Karpman Drama Triangle. The Drama Triangle is kind of like a play with only three roles: Victim, Perpetrator, and Rescuer. In this play the actor is cast in all three roles and becomes endlessly stuck in this cycle of victim, perpetrator, rescuer.
David Emerald, Executive Coach and author, restructures the triangle in his book The Power of Ted* He offers a different way to think about the triangle. In his model the Victim becomes the Creator, the Persecutor becomes the Challenger, and the Rescuer becomes the Coach. What would it feel like to be the Creator instead of the victim? The Coach instead of the Rescuer? The Challenger instead of the Persecutor? Could this be a way to feel and become more empowered, allowing us to act? I don’t know about you, but I like the idea of acting in a positive and not punitive way; being intentional in my wholeness to think and act in a way that communicates my empowerment without lashing out and choosing to respond rather than react. If this resonates with you, we can help. We look forward to journeying to empowerment with you.
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(Photo by Tron Le on Unsplash)