Hey there. I thought I’d check in and see how you’re doing. It’s mid-May already…and it seems like it was just January. We’re definitely in Spring now! Gorgeous, unpredictable, beautiful and irritating if you have allergies. I find my emotions and moods follow the season and right now they’re unpredictable. Sometimes they’re up and I’m able to see the beauty in the world around me, in my job, family and in myself. Other times they’re not and I struggle to find beauty anywhere. 

Does that seem true for you, too? There are a lot of things that influence and contribute to my ups and downs. I have autoimmune arthritis and fibromyalgia. I also have long covid. It sucks sometimes. I find that the older I get, the more conditions I seem to collect. Who knew this could be a thing?

Having a chronic illness, hidden chronic illness, is a mental game as much as it is a physical one. What I tell myself about myself and what others think of me is a continual loop. I worry about appearing like I’m weak, can’t deal, and trying to get others to feel sorry for me. I struggle with acknowledging genuine pain, and my inability to function at work or at home when it’s bad. I fight to remember that my symptoms are real and deserve consideration and that my body is not my enemy. I encourage myself to remember that I am not my disease or conditions and that my body is my friend and that accepting help is OK. I remind myself that I’m ok, just like I am on this day in this moment. 

How are you? On this day in this moment? Is there one way you can show kindness to yourself today, or offer yourself compassion? Can you find one thing you like about yourself and smile about it? Appreciate it? I plan to take a walk today. For me, right now, in today’s body, it’s a kindness I can show myself.  If you’re struggling to find kindness and compassion for yourself today, consider reaching out to a friend, family member, doctor, a mentor, or a therapist. Support yourself, you are worth the effort!